I’ve been reading a lot of articles in the past couple of days about Vogue UK’s declaration that cleavage is “out.” I’ve also been reading all the clapback articles on every site imaginable from Buzzfeed to Cosmopolitan and beyond. I find this ridiculous on so many levels.

I can’t honestly remember a time in my life, or at least in my post-pubescent life during the early aughts, when boobs or cleavage were “in.” Fashion, particularly high fashion, isn’t made for women with large chests and that’s just the way it is. Models have always been flat-chested, cover girls have always been covered-up, and Hollister shirts never went over my chest. Now, I’m not saying I have giant boobs, but I’m also no Keira Knightley. Imagine trying to fit in in middle school in the mid-2000s when you could barely stretch an A&F shirt over your chest and when you did, it was a size XL. I don’t think boobs have been in since Marilyn Monroe’s time in the 1950s when being curvy and voluptuous was considered sexy and the ideal body type. And there’s my first point; Vogue UK, it’s been six decades since boobs were “in” – this isn’t news.

On to my second point… can we all take a second to remember the “thigh gap?” Yeah, the negative space between women’s legs was a trend. The absence of leg: fat, muscle, skin, the whole shebang. Well, can we also remember how controversial that was? Does one of the top magazines really want to go around telling its readers, young and old, impressionable and conforming, that boobs are “out?” I think not. Thanks to the rest of the media for disagreeing with Vogue UK because I’d really hate for women to be going under the knife just for a trend. How about let’s encourage women to dress for their chest size instead? That sounds like a good plan to me.

Or making mosquito bites look like juicy juicy mangoes…. So, I’ll just drop this here (tune to 1:35)

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